Thursday, September 27, 2007
i want to break free
The silence is deafening, it makes me want to scream, it makes me on fire; on second thought, I am on fire. I am starting to get mad and thoughts flow wildly to the extent that one false move will make me rupture.
It is hard to keep feelings to just yourself and you cannot even show a sign of madness or irritability.
I dislike talks, senseless ones at that, more so, I abhor arguments-especially irrational reasoning.
I need to have rhyme and reason, right now!
Monday, September 24, 2007
she
There is something about her that makes my heart desperate. I do not exactly know what it is because looking at her is like solving a mystery puzzle, like as if, every piece doesn’t fit and one becomes bleak.
Whenever she passes by, there is that air of inscrutability in her. She looks fine, beautiful as a matter of fact, but she has an empty face.
She would occasionally laugh, she cries, she looks blissful; but her empty face and bare eyes say otherwise. I know, there is something more about her. There is more to just those little laughters and silent smiles, there is more than just those tears and more than just that empty face.
I am intrigued but her “mystery” keeps me glued.
Is she searching for happiness? Is she searching for love, respect?
Or is she just doomed to be that way?
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
alarm
In this vain world, a svelte and curvy body is oftentimes associated with beauty.
Those who were blessed to have sylphlike body are never the center of rude laughters and “meaningful” remarks and even jokes.
What is it with big bodies? What is the difference between having an ectomorph from an endomorph body type?
I don’t exactly know any difference, just in case there is any.
Within you, you know that you are good, and even if you talk with sense and ace whatever is done in school and show a decent personality to everyone you know, and even those you don’t, still, people kid you with your body built.
Alright, those maybe are jokes but jokes are always half meant.
And sometimes, this makes me feel little.
Every now and then, I would wonder and even day dream how it is like to be thin. I wonder if there would be a difference with how people would see me. Will they kid me about weighing scales, would they kid me about me being “rich” because a big body size for them is an indicator that I can buy all the foods in the world. Funny eh? But true, very true. And it didn’t happen to me once or twice but countless times.
Had I been thin, I’d walk in the ramp and slap them in their face.
I can be brutal too.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
MARK is HOPE
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
*this is for you. all will be well.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
true friendship is
habang nakahiga, naisip ko, mahirap pala talagang magestablish ng pagkakaibigan.
minsan kasi, kahit alam mo na click kayo sa halos lahat ng bagay, malalaman mo na lang na sa huli, di pala talaga kayo magkaibigan.
napadefine tuloy ako kung ano yung friendship in its deepest and truest meaning.
and i came up with these...
Real and true friendship involves freedom of choice, accountability, truth, and forgiveness. *tama naman di ba? a friend should never dictate you on what you are suppose to do because he thinks that you have a mind of your own, pero, he's just there to guide you. and if in case you fall, he is there to motivate you to pick yourself up. he understands where you have been and accepts who you've become and still gently invites you to grow.
Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the "packaging." *tama ulit di ba? kasi di lang kayo friends kasi maganda ka, gwapo ka, sexy ka o macho ka. ang friendships dapat based on chemistry and a feeling na "you are home" whenever you are with that person.
Genuine friendship loves for love's sake, not just for what it can get in return. *di dapat one-way traffic lang.
True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally...
*need i say more?
Saturday, September 8, 2007
to live and love
There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer;
no disease that enough love will not heal;
no door that enough love will not open;
no gulf that enough love will not bridge;
no wall that enough love will not throw down;
no sin that enough love will not redeem...
It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble;
how hopeless the outlook;
how muddled the tangle;
how great the mistake.
A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all.
If only you could love enough
you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world...
i have loved and is loving.
it keeps me alive and growing.
i am in love with love and life itself.
and will continue loving until the day i die...
no matter the hurt, the pain, the tears.
Monday, September 3, 2007
i miss you
The three words that mean the most, I think, the ones that really hit the mark, and often in the most unexpected of ways, are “I miss you”. This is the sentence that sends the message right home. Because what other message is there? Nothing else, except exactly just that, “I miss you”, and everything else is pulled along into it, like a chain reaction. Unlike “I love you” and the lies that go along with it, “I miss you” is honest and sincere, you only say it when you mean it, and you don’t have to mean it in a big way to really mean it.
Unlike “I want you” and its expectations, “I miss you” offers all it has, and waits for nothing in return. Unlike “I need you” and its desperate whines, “I miss you” stands on its own, a whole entity in just three words, devoid of arms that cling to you for life.
“I miss you” means everything and nothing, it is unflinching and honest. It is upbeat and simple, with wisps of longing and clouds of hope.
You miss people you used to love, people you used to want, people you used to need. But most of the time the missing is all that’s left, and that’s OK, there’s nothing else you’d change.
The missing implies a past that remains in its rightful place. Or it implies the reality and possibilities of the present. It is hope and love and lust and peace all at the same time.
Some people say that when they met that person, it was akin to “coming home”.
And missing is this manifestation of home-sickness, the way people return to their homelands to die, the way all the comfort the world has to offer is nothing compared to the feeling of being in someone’s arms. And that’s why I miss you, because you’re not here, and because every time I think about you, that’s all that I think. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, and the world turns for both of us, and I can’t wait until you come home.
Thursday, September 27, 2007