and the first of October came, incidentally, it occurred on the first day of the week. i was hoping for a good start, for good vibes and uplifted spirit, but it wasn’t the case.
the day started quite fine, although it seemed like a typhoon was raging because of the on/off gushing of winds and heavy rains, i managed to pass by the whole afternoon quite swiftly and fine.
when i was on my way home last night, i received a call from my uncle and was asking me if i knew the land line number of where aunt who just arrived from australia was staying.
i said, i do have the number but i haven’t memorized it, as it was just stored in my mobile and i cannot pull it through otherwise i would cancel his call. suddenly, he went blabbing about it, asking me questions and sounded like as if interrogating me as to why didn’t i memorized the number.
suddenly a gush of blood rose up my head and told him: " i will not be memorize something just because aunt is staying there. and besides, if it wasn’t for her, i would not ring them. and he kept on keeping his arugument, that what about if there'd be emergencies. at the back of my mind, i would not be calling someone else's family should there be emergencies. i am not that close to cousin’s wife family and has no intention of being ultra close with them. it is fine with me that i am civil whenever i get to see them and that is it.
and he reprimanded me about sharing his financial problems with my dad (his brother). well, honestly, i do not see any reason as to why i would not tell my dad about his constant bugging whenever he needs extra amount to pay his due bills. what in hell do these people think? that a financially challenged student like me can raise a hefty amount on a regular basis? that whenever they need some show money for trips abroad they can come and grab a hundred thousand cold cash from me?
give me some reason please! now! urgent!

see? this is what i call pointless arguments. instances like these allow me to lose grip. i am not that mean but hey, i am not an angel too!
i hope people can see what lies inside of me. the many worries, the many things that i have to endure and most especially the things that i have to deal with even without my liking.
i'd rather stop, otherwise, my list would be endless.
It should have been a good morning, a warm, calm and undemanding morning. But it wasn’t.

Today is a story of crumpled thoughts, of worrisome behavior and an irritability raised to the nth power. And it is starting to hit on me again, and I smell my own fear rising.
Ohhh, enduring, I wish I knew enough.